Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Someone came in the potted fern
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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