i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
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