okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
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