I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I can't put those talents on a resume
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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