That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
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Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
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He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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