Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
