dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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