glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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