Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
a search helicopter?!
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
