i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Alive.
So much puke
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
