doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
