what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize