drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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