I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
