your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
