never play flip cup with pint glasses
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Randomize
