Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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