so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
