the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
