when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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