If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Randomize
