very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
