..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
