We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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