he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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