I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
