new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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