Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
