she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
