Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
