Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
