Hey man sorry I got all grabby
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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