I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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