I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize