If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
