The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Randomize
