please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
