i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
