i think i have herpe
just one?
even my farts smell like vagina
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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