i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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