Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize