I faked an abortion last night.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
