Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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