Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
This is my gift to your gina
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
