I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Randomize
