I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
