kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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