my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
