is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
50% drunk capacity currently
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
