i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
