I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
