no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
