You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Help me help you realize you are a moron
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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