I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
