so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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