It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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