did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Randomize
