You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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