someone owes me an orgasm
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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